Never Asked Questions

Just who are you anyway?

Um, there’s an about me page right ^ there. But I guess it is kinda audacious to have a blog so tl;dr, a nobody who likes writing.

Why do you write a blog nobody reads?

Because nobody reads it. If in some unlikely scenario I end up getting famous – let’s hope it doesn’t happen – then the idea of writing this for an audience is more than a little intimidating. Knowing my readers are imaginary is comforting. In that unlikely scenario I’ll probably password protect the blog and carry on behind the veil.

Then why write a blog at all…?

Because while nobody reads this, people could read it. I explained in a bit more detail in this post, but tl;dr, because knowing I have to put a public post out about my progress keeps me accountable. The internet is written in ink.

That’s a stupid reason.

And that’s not a question. Also it’s not as dumb as you might think. What can I say, over a thousand posts later and still seems to be working as a free motivation boost.

Why do you keep talking to ‘imaginary readers’?

Talking to yourself is weird enough as it is, let alone doing so while always referring to your future self as the likely only reader. Also, an imaginary audience is one I can deal with. A real one sounds, less fun.

Why do you write every day? And why only a thousand words?

The thousand words marker is arbitrary. Writing nine hundred and ninety nine is three digits, and one more word makes it four, so it feels significant. That is pretty much it. Stephen King recommends 2,000. I know people who manage 10,000. My one claim to fame is when I say every day, I mean every day. I am not allowed to sleep until I do, even if I am delirious and it’s 4am. For every calendar day, there has to be a thousand words attached.

Right, that’s a paragraph and it hasn’t answered either question – can you see why I failed university now? So why every day? Because I function best when I have structure, and this is my one ‘must’. If all else falls apart, this holds, because so long as I have a piece of paper and a pen I can do it, and heck even those can be improvised. I should have no excuse. Jean-Dominique Bauby wrote The Diving Bell and the Butterfly with his eyelid whilst paralysed, and I feel like outside of a coma or death, there is no reason I can’t write. If everything else falls apart, that’s where I rebuild from.

So why only a thousand words? Because thousands add up. Now I do main story content every day – my shorthand for whatever the next book in my queue is I am working on – I turn out a new first draft every three months. Not the fastest pace but still respectable. It’s enough to make progress without also burning myself out.

Why was the last answer so long?

Felt like it.

What are your aspirations?

Erm, I kind of don’t have any. I will put my stories out there when I feel they’re ready, but in all likelihood I’ll do it for free as an ‘if you feel like reading these’ offer to people. To answer a question you didn’t ask, I write for myself, and because I enjoy reading the stories I come up with as much as ones I read by other authors. I used to want more than that, or think I did, but I don’t need more money, and don’t want fame.

Why make an FAQ if you don’t want to be noticed?

Boredom. No real reason. Also this is an NAQ, there’s a difference. The difference is I’m a few letters off of being sued by the stock exchange.

Where can I read your stories?

Wait for real? Goes to show how low my self esteem is that I’m surprised a fictional questioner wants to read something I’ve written. Well I haven’t got any stories publicly available at the moment, but I am looking into a project to do just that. If that sounds of interest to you, there’s a mailing list available on the website

How do I contact you? I can’t seem to leave a comment.

lol no. I have those disabled. If you want to contact me, I guess, good luck?

…except I doubt anyone who doesn’t know me will ever read this so, message me the way you always do. The hell did you come here for?