July 4th, 2022 – 1,377

ESCG is a great employer, and when it comes to the health and safety support that has become clear yet again. When I told them about my diagnosis, I got a next day desk assessment, and I now have a footrest, arm supports on the desk and a new supportive chair on the way. That means whether I end up full time in the office or in part of the week, I will be able to sit with minimised pain and more focus.

My head right now is not in the best place. That’s not super surprising after the long hours volunteering I did over the weekend. Got even more volunteering I have to do after work too, so the timing is pretty awful. But at least I got my writing done early in the day.

July 3rd, 2022 – 1,376

I keep hitting 1.3k when I write TEL. This book flows like fine wine, it sips like Bourbon, and I adore every word. It’s a shame I had to write so late, but man I’m having a blast with this one. This book was 1,000% worth the wait. Also ManaFest was a blast. Never been more glad to have my Steam Index to share with people.

July 2nd, 2022 – 1,375

Phew what a day. I was working almost non stop from 8am to 7:30pm, and Manafest 1.0 day one was a blast. In the end I brought my own VR kit to the event as the stuff we had on hand wasn’t working, and it went down a riot. But I am shattered right now and have to be up at 9am to do it all again tomorrow. But totally worth it. Today reminded me why I’m into VR in the first place. Nothing like seeing people light up trying it out.

And hey, I wrote 1,300 words of TEL after that. Goes to show I really am enjoying it more than that wretc

July 1st, 2022 – 1,374

Just had a very chill day. I had this Friday booked off for a while but didn’t make any plans for most of it, which worked out well as I went to the cricket for the evening. I’m an Essex fan, so it was fun getting to see them win yet again against Sussex in the Twenty20. Also I got a beer and accidentally got a two pint one, so that was an experience. I just wanted to have it in the plastic cup.

This weekend is gonna be a busy one, but I’m hoping it’ll still stay relatively chill. The good news is that TEL continues to flow like water in a gentle stream. This is my happy place.

June 30th, 2022 – 1,373

Man I’m tired. Not like catatonic tired, even if I am yet again blogging after 11pm. I am just a little bit conked out by the end of a wave of news and things to process in the last week+ or so. The good news is I am having a blast writing TEL. We’re 4 days in and I’ve written over 5,300 words, 1,600 of them today because I just got into the flow. It has been far too long since I felt flow with a story, and it goes to show I did not suit the Horizon Trilogy. That’s ok, the STO series was supposed to be a chance for me to road-test styles and genres and such, and I found I don’t much enjoy filling out dystopian worlds, and I like to break up trilogies and do them bit by bit.

Pokémon is still going well. I bit the bullet today and hacked in a Jirachi and a Deoxys, as the latter is straight up unobtainable without a GBA Action Replay and the former needs either that or about £100 in hardware, and that’s assuming I emulated the software, which I don’t really want to do for this. At some point maybe I will get a GBA AR, but right now I think limiting myself to the DSi one is fine, as that cost a small fortune. A GBA one will set you back £75 at least, and that’s sans-cable. I’d need a cable too. Ok the cables don’t cost that much but it’s the principle. Aaaand I’d need a copy of Fire Red. Man I wish I hadn’t sold mine…

Jun2 29th, 2022 – 1,372

Woof I am tired. This week hasn’t been particularly stressful, and in fact I think it’s dislodged a few stuck issues I’ve had at work with a few lingering tasks, but my energy levels are crashing into a large immovable brick wall of nope. I don’t even know if that makes sense. My brain is kind of fried right now and I need to go sleep, which is not helped by how late it keeps being by the time I’ve done everything I need to each night. The irony is my writing isn’t holding me up, my leisure time is. I keep getting lost in Pokémon and then realising ‘oops, it’s gone 10pm’, and cramming chores. That needs to stop; it’s the rubber band effect from me being so tense of late.

I keep writing well in excess of 1K for TEL, by 250 words today for example. Yes, the start of a new project and one I’ve been excited about explains that, but given my fatigue levels it also points to a truth Imma hold to for now: I don’t suit dystopia. I think I can make the Horizon trilogy into great books, but in terms of where I shine, ultra-grim is not my comfort zone. TUS works for me because it’s a contrast, that even though one character has it super grim, they can still draw comfort from the other’s world. That wasn’t possible in the Horizon books. Maybe I need to find a way to make it possible in the rewrites. Hm.

June 28th, 2022 – 1,371

Here’s a worrying trend, I keep writing early, then leaving blogging until late and not sleeping on time. Bad, bad, bad. That’s how to burn yourself out, and as I now know that a good night’s sleep is worth more than I realised it’s dumb to risk it like this. I’m going to have to get to the bottom of why that’s happening. Even though it’s not ideal though, I’m playing more video games in the evenings. And by more, I mean Pokémon SoulSilver and basically nothing else, but that’s an improvement.

Head is still not quite on straight. There are a lot of things to process right now, and it’s taking a lot of willpower just to stay stable. I just don’t know.

June 27th, 2022 – 1,370

And now, I have officially got all 14 drafts. Ok so one of them is only 1,320 words long at present but it exists, and it’s a strong start I feel. I got really into it too hence the extra 300 words. My goal is to finish this draft by 4Y1K, which is in 92 days away. That is more than enough time, and it’s all for TEL now TUS is done. Taking a handful of days to cement TUS’s draft was a great move in hindsight, though I suppose I won’t truly know if I left enough time until September 27th.

I also wrote right after work at 17:20, so I’m just blogging late as I left work late and went onto volunteering. That it’s gone 11pm and I’m posting this isn’t fantastic, but I should still get an ok night’s sleep. I do need to make that more of a priority but I have no regrets playing Pokémon for a few hours. My HGSS Johto Dex is up to 71 now after I spent several days grinding for a Tauros. It’s almost like I’ve found having pointless side projects is a major boon to wellbeing.

June 26th, 2022 – 1,369

And with that, we have 13 finished first drafts. I have a full view of the overarching story I wanted to tell going into book 14, and with that, I have a better idea of where and how I need to edit those stories. Continuity alone isn’t going to cut it of course, as I need to do some serious clean up work on the novels, and make them engaging, cut the boring bits, make the prose flow and do the painstaking work of making them give you those little spine tingles with every twist and turn. And then, maybe, maybe I’ll post them all somewhere. I don’t know. Guess we will, again, have to see on that.

Still a bit of a mix of emotions, and in part that’s because Project4 moves into a dicey phase this week, or I intend to move it there. This could be the point I put the whole of my life into total disarray, and I don’t know what to expect from it. It’s also the penultimate step – assuming that what I am running in tandem goes as planned – towards me at last being able to reveal just what the heck I’ve been dedicating hundreds of hours planning and work to across this year, even as I wrestle with some of the most existential difficulties and captivating ventures of my life alongside. Even not knowing what the big one is, I am sure you can imagine how anxious I feel about life in general.

Here’s hoping I sleep at least.

June 25th, 2022 – 1,368

I am so close to finishing the revised TUS draft, which by any luck when I post tomorrow will be 85k+. While the rest of the series goes from 87k to 99k, and WHT at 116k, I think 85k is ok. I am also pretty sure I will cut the rest down by a fair bit, whereas TUS is about where it needs to be. I need to sub out the bad words for good words, but quantity is there. And then, on Monday, if all goes right, I start writing TEL, and once that’s done, I have my first finished series. Neat. Then I’ll do lots of editing, make sure the continuity works, and probably never do anything with it.

I don’t understand me either.