I feel as if my grip on my sanity is tenuous. In a dark place tonight. Months of work have brought me to the cusp of success or failure, and what is for me the showdown with my biggest trauma. When the dust clears, my world will look different one way or another. I knew this would be the hardest part. But man, it’s hard. The urge to give up is strong. I could just, let go. All I’d have to do is do nothing, and let it slip from my grasp, and fall back into the void. I can feel it at my back. But I have to grip tighter. I have to hold my nerve. Even if it hurts. And man, it hurts.
Sorry for the vague-post. And yes, of course this is Project4. Maybe you get some idea of the stakes now.
Published by Sam Shuttleworth
I’m Sam, and I live to write. I spent most of the first 8 years of my adulthood trying to balance writing with a large amount of crap in my personal life, until towards the end of 2018 I threw everything out and started afresh with just my writing. I built the new me around one goal: I have to write at least 1,000 words a day. I called this goal 1K, and it changed my life. So long as I write a thousand words a day, the day is a success, and atop that I've managed over time to build the life I wanted all those years.
My greatest flaws as a writer is I still use too many adjectives, adverbs, connectives as openers, accidental passive voice and I don't force my work down people's throats enough on pain of extreme and unusual torture. My greatest strength is I know my greatest flaws and I'm working on them.
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