June 6th, 2022 – 1,349

I feel as if my grip on my sanity is tenuous. In a dark place tonight. Months of work have brought me to the cusp of success or failure, and what is for me the showdown with my biggest trauma. When the dust clears, my world will look different one way or another. I knew this would be the hardest part. But man, it’s hard. The urge to give up is strong. I could just, let go. All I’d have to do is do nothing, and let it slip from my grasp, and fall back into the void. I can feel it at my back. But I have to grip tighter. I have to hold my nerve. Even if it hurts. And man, it hurts.

Sorry for the vague-post. And yes, of course this is Project4. Maybe you get some idea of the stakes now.