December 13th, 2021 – 1,174

Today was, surprisingly good considering I almost doomed it out the gate. I woke up this morning not with the headache, but feeling hyper run down and thought ‘you know what, just work from home, it’s the last Monday of term, you have an almost clear queue and what’s left you have all the tools to complete from the Million Desk’. What I ignored in that is I just end up feeling miserable when I work from home. What I found to my surprise is for once, I was, actually right. I got some nice meaty tasks done, I felt focused, I stopped feeling as run down, and I hit target well before 5pm. And that raises some odd questions.

So I can enjoy working from home, but not when I have a huge backlog. That almost hints the issue isn’t so much the being-at-home, and more the bringing-intense-tasks-home part. That kind of makes sense – I have responded to work emails and done tasks over weekends countless times before and it’s been fine, albeit most of those examples of it not tanking my mood are pre-apocalypse. But it does contradict my model of ‘boundaries’, or, muddies it. In this instance I feel it was the right decision for me, and of course working from home where possible is the watchword right now, but I find it baffling how inconsistent my body’s signals are being over this whole situation.

I mean I’ll take it. But I would like to understand what the heck is going on…