Well, I am ending this year in a way symbolic of how I lived it: sleep-deprived, on my own, and just clinging to my writing as a way to feel some semblance of hope. It is 15:28 as I write this line so, I mean, at least I got an early target at the end. I also decided that no, I am done with HOR, it’s enough for now. It has an ending, and now, I have an opening for Horizon Falls (HOF). And, it’s a great opening. I think it’s one of my best snippets I’ve written in quite some time: sums up the last book, showing not telling, emotive language woven with evocative imagery. I mean it’ll have room to improve, but this feels like a nice solid start.

As for what I’m gonna do tonight, well I will likely stay up to hang out online with people, but as I’ve been awake for the last 25 hours I can’t imagine I’ll be all that lucid. And New Years Day? I will spend a huge chunk of it asleep. I mean, starting off the year with rest? Start as you mean to continue.

I wish I’d slept through 2021…

Well I slept in, which knocked my sleep out of routine again, so that’s less than ideal. On the plus side this novel is, almost done. I can’t say done-done even for a first draft, but it will be, tomorrow, I hope. I dunno, I like to think it’s more I’m low battery in general right now, but I think the actual problem is I like writing stories closer to home. But I still wanna make a success of this trilogy so, we’ll see I guess.

The ending of HOR is awful. That’s not all that surprising for me, as I knew my batteries at the end of this project were low, but still, it’s a little sobering to know this book is going to need drastic work done to it if it’s ever gonna be in shape. One plus today at least is I finished writing nice and early; it’s only 12:32 as I write this. On the downside, I did not sleep last night, so I am not in the best place mentally at present. However, I am going to continue having enforced days of chill until chill is achieved, so on that note, imma go, do, something. Do what? I dunno, I can’t, brain, right now.

Today was a nice day. I spent almost the entire thing playing Stardew and relaxing, and decided not to finish HOR in a sprint. Sticking to the plan and riding out this year on a slow burn. Sprints are for when I am far less overwhelmed.

Bit exhausted after another long day, albeit a quieter one. I wrote quite a while ago, but spent a lot of this evening just doing chores and getting my routines back on track. As for HOR, I wrote 1,350 words, and I’m still not quite done. However I think in the next three days I will be, and I’ll probably do the 31st as a wrap-up day so that 2022 starts off with a brand new book. Helps that it’s easier doing the first page of a new project, and I am going to be sleep derped on the 1st I imagine, even if I am just cooped up at home for it.

Looking through my various books, I think I have a ranking of most close to being ready for prime time to least:

1# – WHT

2# – TFS

3# – TSS

4# – MAL

5# – TBS

6# – TWO

7# – VOL

8# – HOR

9# – TWR

10# – WAN

11# – TUS

It’s a bit sad to rank TUS behind WAN, a book that is at the bottom because I don’t want to release it, but it’s hard to argue in the gutted state I’ve left it in during the last few months of editing that it’s not structurally sound at present. I would say, that the top 5/6 are the ones I wouldn’t mind showing someone, but only really WHT is with an expectation that they would respond “Yeah this is almost there!”. I don’t like New Years resolutions – more than New Years itself but that’s not surprising, I liked Covid more than New Years. Even so, I’m almost tempted to resolve that TUS is top instead of bottom of this list by the end of the year. That’d make me happy. I guess if I remember, I’ll come back and review this list again on the cusp of 2023. Here’s hoping it’s at a far less intense time.

Boxing Day was a nice day, busy again but still a pleasant one. Southend managed to complete consecutive unbeaten Boxing Day performances, I spent the time with family eating good food and playing games just like Christmas Day, and all in all, I was reminded just how lucky I am to get to have such positive experiences at this time of year. I feel it’s important to be thankful for such things, because that cements the memories more, and memory is the most important thing we take with us through life. Sorry, that sounds a little hippy-ish but I mean, I am a little hippy-ish and you probably already knew that. Can imaginary people know things?

Tomorrow needs to be a very quiet day I think, and I doubt I will sprint to finish HOR. There’s at least another 5,000 words in it, though it could be as few as 4,000. Lower than that and I think I’d be rushing it to move on, and well, that’s kind of pointless when I’m working on the sequel right afterwards. I suspect what I will find is I don’t like working on direct sequels, which will be a little awkward when I then work on the third part right after that, but a useful learning exercise in either case. Or, I’ll find a better flow and sense of what’s missing in the prior story this way. Not sure, but what I am sure of, is I am knackered and going to bed…

Merry Christmas my imaginary readers. I hope you had a nice day. Got my writing done early but only just got round to this. Onwards to a little more chill. It was a nice day.

I’m still not ok, but I’m writing this at 13:42 so I’m a heck of a lot better off than I was yesterday, even if only just. Having the motivation of not wanting to sleep through Christmas turns out to be a heck of a motivator. I’m feeling wretched and poorly, and today’s portion of HOR was awful, but it was writing and all writing counts. ‘Awful’ is over stating it but I haven’t been doing my best work of late in general. If you think these posts are rambling you should see some of those later chapters.

I think I’ll play some Stardew. Maybe some games with friends later. I’m honestly not sure. I have some Christmas cards I’m meant to be dropping off but I haven’t gotten around to it yet. Funny, as it’s barely a 40 minute round trip, and I could do it with ease if I didn’t feel so bleh. I just hope people don’t mind the cards being late.

I am not ok. I mean, I haven’t been for quite some time but I am, not ok ok. What I am though is almost finished with HOR. It’s gonna need a lot of work as I have not been feeling it at the end of this one, which is a pity as there’s a good story in there to tell. I think this book is the epitome of a story I only really figured out part way, and while I have the ending, being on low mental batteries has not helped.

But I mean I started playing Stardew again at last so that’s something. Gotta get that seretonin somehow. Christmas will help.

Ok so, better than yesterday, ish, very tired. I ordered take out despite specifically begging myself not to but, I’m not even surprised. Yesterday was that much. Here’s hoping though that I’m in the closing days of HOR. Might even stay up and just finish it tonight. It’s that close to being done.