This week was Hella stressful. I’m also just not gonna stress over it more than I need to. This is temporary. I’ll move on Monday, and it’ll all start to settle.
I have a moving date at last. Wouldn’t you know it, but I’ll be moving into my new home, of all days, on September 27th, 3Y1K. There, now the day has a reason to be significant. Am I nervous about it? You betcha, I’m anxious about all the things I might forget to do in the meantime, and how I need to still move the darn internet over. Using tethered internet for a few weeks is going to be rough as can be, but it’s a necessary evil. Stressed? Well, yes, but not as much as I was initially. I’m procesing this at my own pace best I can, and while yes it’s going to be disruptive, I am also in a good position now, not least as I know by Wednesday I’ll have a bed. I’ll be couch surfing my own couch until then.
TBS’s ending is going to need to be rewritten, but I am also now thinking I may need longer than the 27th to finish. No real problems there, I can have as long as I need, but a part of me is still itching to jump into a new thing and clear my head. Granted, doing so won’t fix all my problems, but it’s still an inviting prospect. You know what else is an inviting prospect right now? Bed. I may as well make the most of this one, because I’ve only got it to use for a little longer.
Today went, less well. I got a lot done which is good, and I also managed to write a pretty decent scene for TBS, as well as setting up the grand finale. All well and good too, but there’s a catch, and well, it’s not a small one: I burned out hard today. There was a point where I just, snapped, and while I didn’t mess up too bad by my old standards, I still feel wretched about snapping at a loved one, and also for ordering in because I just wanted to feel better. I should be better than that. I keep telling myself it’s the moving stress, but, well I hope that’s all it is. I guess we’ll see after the move, right?
Ok VR is phenominal. My Steam Index arrived today and after work when I finally got to try it out for a bit, it blew me away. Still acclimatising to it a little and it’s a pain to also need to wear glasses – enough I might look into a prescription lens set – the experience was incredible. I played a bit of Beat Saber, a couple of games of Phasmo, and then just also spent some time chilling in the VR lounge space that Steam drops you into by default. This may be one of the greatest experiences I have ever bought into.
If only my writing were so vivid. I was talking with my partner today about writing the first draft and not getting too hung up on if it’s good or not. They like to have a far more polished product after the first sweep than I often care about, and yet I won’t lie, a part of me is sad TBS is going to be left in its current state. I could I suppose go back and edit it now, but I feel that would be a poor use of my time given WHT – the current editing project – is going to release a long time before this book. Even so, I get it, it’s nice to feel that something is in good condition when you move on. But at the same time, I am quite keen to move onto a new project at this point.
Second therapy session today went well. The big takeaways, that I need to stick to, are that I should step away from my desk to eat and to take breaks, and that I shouldn’t starve myself for the rest of the day if I accidentally overindulge at one sitting – it’s better to keep the routine and, while not continuing as if it didn’t happen, then continuing in spite of the blip. I’m hoping those will help keep my energy levels up and my focus a little sharper. Here’s hoping a good night’s sleep helps there too.
It’s just a shame in a way that 3Y1K falls on day 1,097. Like yes I know, I don’t want to big up the day, and I’m not, lordy I will be booking it off but I just need a rest right now. But still the symmetry would have been nice. I am looking on target to finish writing TBS by then, and even have a reasonable idea how the last two chapters are going to play out, even if – I won’t lie – huge crucial chunks are still missing. I gotta say it’s probably not going to be the ending in the finished book, but it’ll be an ending. That’s important to have, because you can’t start to improve a thing until you have objective content to compare it to.
I just hope I get to bed sooner tomorrow. All these post-11pm days, while caused by ill health, are sure not helping me overcome said ill health.
The last 100 or so days have been a weird rollercoaster right? I mean 1K1K threw me but damn if I haven’t had the ground moving time and again in the three months since. The one upshot is as we close in on another 100 days, I’m not being dumb and marking it. I likely will also not mark 3Y1K with much beyond relief that TBS will be done and I’ll have a new book to focus on instead, one so different to TBS as to be a complete pallette cleanser. Don’t get me wrong, I still like TBS, I think the story is good, and I think the novel can be made great, but I need some space from it at this point.
And this week, I need some space in general. I’ll be asking to book some time off once I’ve cleared my backlog caused by being ill last week, and then I’ll rest, tidy my things away and uproot to pastures new. Here’s to new beginnings, right?
And I have a new flat. True, I’ve not moved in yet but it’s there waiting for me. A new start. Could do with one of those right about now. Good thing this book is almost over. Hope one day I can make it good.
I was off sick again today so not a lot to report and I’ll keep things short, but writing is starting to go a lil better, and I think I’m a little better too. I get the keys for the new place tomorrow. Oh, and one more thing…
Hey guess what went wrong today? Well it’s a Thursday so if you answered ‘everything’ that’s a fair guess. It wasn’t quite everything, but I can some up why today wasn’t great with one word: Tuesday. Yeah, it happened again. I have no idea what’s causing it, but I am feeling about as unwell as I ever have outisde of migraines, and to be honest, I am not ruling out one of those thundering into my brain sometime soon. I am, not feeling great. And writing? Well I’m writing which is good – I always do – but man if me being in pain doesn’t half put a dampener on my ability to do so well.
I have decided to take the plunge on VR. Not a split second decision by any means, I was planning VR when I chose the PC build that became Valkrie, but the difference is that is now ordered and on its way. I went for a refurb Steam Index and also bought two Vive controllers to go with it, so I could use those in games that they’d work better for. I’m quite excited, for Phasmo and Psychonauts mostly, but also virtual cinemas and VR hangouts, and of course Beat Saber. It’s gonna be fun. The latter I am also hoping to make into a cardio workout to do alongside my steps and rowing each day, and I guess whatever else takes my fancy in operation: lose this gut already. One upside of being ill, in three days I lost two kilos. I’m, not sure that’s a good thing.
A much better day today. Yes this is a late post, but I got some good writing done, I got some housework done as I worked from home, just in case I was ill again, and I managed to sell my dual lands plus a couple other cards. The funds I raised will buy me a decent VR headset and already has bought my new graphics card. So hyped for that, and all the cool games I can now run at maximum settings in my beautiful totally over the top RGB build. I might even do NaNoMineMo at this rate just to experience dem graphics.
I thought I’d miss the duals a lot more than it turns out I do. They were over the top, and hey, I made a 250% return on investment in 4 years, that aint half bad. The cube only needs proxies anyway. It’s, nice to let them go and get a rig that lets me dive into gaming in a way I never really let myself until now. Today is the start of a new chapter. And in that same vein, I also started my therapy today. I’m going to get better, even if it takes a little while. One step at a time.