June 24th, 2021 – 1,002

One advantage of crossing the threshold, it’s never been easier to remember what day number I’m on. I have been wondering if I should even be tracking the number of days in the title still. It never used to be a problem, I have been doing it for almost two years now with no ill-effect, but 1K1K threw me enough to be doubting a lot of things right now. Not 1K itself or any of the main stuff like the blog itself, but more ‘tracking’ things. See, I did some rereading of my old journals, and I noticed something funny. Early on, I decried tracking.

I’ve actually found myself regretful over the years I didn’t track more. If it weren’t for me logging the fact so near the time, I would have lost ‘day one’, purely by not having any kind of record. As it is, while the chain started on day 1, it was only really when the journal started on day 5 I had any tangible evidence. And at the time, my position was ‘I count my words, but that’s just to ensure I hit target. Past that, track nothing’. It was a good sentiment, but it had a fatal flaw it took tracking to fix: tracking lets me improve.

See, tracking what I write, how much and when, which is still a relatively new addition in the latter case, lets me see how I’m doing. If I can see that, I can spot patterns, augment my routine, prioritise. It lets me take an element that works, and carry it forward to make it permanent. But, the number of days? That doesn’t tell me anything. I got hung up on 1K1K, nailed it, and felt empty because what does that really mean in the long term? Who gives a hoot? I can’t learn from reaching day 1,000 because I knew I would on day 10.

So yeah, I’m still a bit of a mess, and I still feel awful from 1K1K, but I learned the most valuable lesson on that day that I could: the number of days doesn’t matter. Every day is a reset. Today is no less special than day 1, 100, 1,000, and it’s no more special than days 278, 191 or 666. They’re just numbers. If I write a thousand words a day, that’s a success. I need to remember that.