I’m getting tireder by every weekend it seems. Monday through Wednesday I kind of manage to tap into energy, but by Thursday it’s withered and Friday I’m more of a husk. The funny thing is, that never used to happen so bad. Yes Thursday has been a problem day for me for decades but the fatigue aspect is getting a lot worse, to the point that I have to ask myself yet again: why am I not researching therapists? I did before, and even found one to contact. That was months ago now. I put it off in the wake of yet another lockdown announcement. Or, maybe it was post-announcement? I have it written down, probably on this blog, but I can’t rememeber.
One of the reasons journalling/BuJo/this blog are so important is when I’m at my worst, the first part of me that fails is my memory. This is one reason I make such terrible financial decisions when I’m degrading, not because I forget what I have to budget, but because I straight up forget the consiquences the last time. This is one I’m getting better at, like today where I wanted take out so badly it was starting to hurt, but I had oven pizza instead. That’s not exactly the healthy option but it’s an improvement. On the flip side, I’m writing really late yet again, in part because I forget how unpleasent late night writing is. I have plenty of evidence for that, and yet it keeps happening.
This I at least know the reason for, and there’s no easy way to put it: very deep lows. The solution in this case, is going to be to sleep until like 2pm tomorrow, just, conk out for the count. Ironic turn of phrase as I was quite literally out of the count today, what with social distancing and all. But on a light note to end this post on, dad won reelection. I’m glad, and just sad that I wasn’t able to be as much help to him this year given no easy way to get to Langney. As much as I don’t enjoy elections, I enjoy not being able to help in them a heck of a lot less…
Way to end on a lighter note dumb-dumb.