May 6th, 2021 – 953

It’s weird to be sitting here at the end of an election day I’ve not done any work on. True, I’ve never worked on a European election – and guess I never will now – but yeah, I feel, guilty? Sad? I don’t like elections but it’s not as if that’s why I participate. I just need to accept this one was a bit different. I hope we did ok.

Writing is still pretty slow for the low mood. I ended up putting on Minecraft a little while ago and I’ve just been fishing to try and relax, listening to The Wandering Inn. Is what it is.

May 5th, 2021 – 952

I bought the most adorable little chess table today – I’ll append it to the end of this post – so that alone makes today a success, even if I already achieve that via 1K anyway. It’s not in great condition and needs, a lot of TLC at some point if that’s even going to make a difference, but I don’t care because it’s cute and I love it. I also managed to do my last leafleting batch for this local election cycle, which feels weird as I have done three delivery routes, no canvassing, no work in Langney at all in fact. This is the most alien election I have ever felt involved in. In terms of votes only the referendum really beats it out.

MAL is going well, I think. I’m a bit wary that the last couple of chapters don’t need-need to be there, and they’re mostly fluff. I may need to rehome or adapt them in some way to make them fit the narrative better and allow for a proper break into 2 moment, but that’s future-me’s problem. I can practically see him shaking his fist at me now for my hubris. But whatever, a draft is a draft, and I haven’t enjoyed writing a story like this since I wrote TFS, which is kinda sad because that was a year ago. Looking back, writing WAN, TWR and then TWO twice one after the other was a horrific thing to do when I was already feeling lousey; they’re not exactly cheery books.

Right, imma go pass out now after my row. Oh on that note, today will be my 11th day in a row. Heh, row.

I’ll see myself out…

Also have table:

May 4th, 2021 – 951

Well today was a little less successful than the last few, but that’s ok. I’m actually glad to only just hit target as oppose to blasting past it, as that makes a worrying precident to live up to. But today I also feel I have an excuse to be a little out of it tonight too: vaccinated. Arm hurts for some reason, but to be honest, I’m in a great mood. Things are looking up. Staying optimistic, getting on and getting by. All I can ask for really.

May 3rd, 2021 – 950

Fifty days to go until the big day, and on my current pace, it’s not out of the question I’ll finish writing MAL before I reach that milestone. And I’m writing this at twenty past six, so I’m working within reasonable hours. I feel pretty darn good all in all, and I am stoked that things are going as well as they are. Mum made me a cauliflour curry for tonight and I’m celebrating this home stretch to 1K1K and successful bank holiday weekend with good food, good cake, and some peace.

But the best part about today came in a text a few hours ago: invite for a vaccine. I’m getting vaccinated at last, and man, even if it’s just part one that’s such a good feeling I can’t stress enough the joy it brings. I’m getting vaccinated, and after that just one jab seperates me from being able to live without paranoia of long covid or any of the nastiness that can come from catching the wretched thing. It’ll be worth feeling naff afterwards and I’m all here for it. But all that’s to come, so for now, I’m gonna rest and relax. Things are going alright.

May 2nd, 2021 – 949

Really sorry about the short and late post yesterday. Ok I don’t know why I’m apologising, but, well I guess I feel I should post more than that, and on busy days it’s not all that viable. Sure I could have, but I find it more authentic if I blog before midnight and don’t then add to it. But it’s just about to go 5pm as I type this, so I have all the time in the world. And that’s after writing 1,750 more words of the new book today. I’ve hit 1,100 extra words for May and we’re 2 days in. Now I won’t, but if I did keep that pace, this would be a borderline NaNoWriMo month. Again, not aiming for that, but it’s nice to hit that stride without trying to. When I saw my wordcount for today I actually swore out loud I was so shocked.

I was doing a lot of delivering today, and that helped my general mood too, because I love walking around. I miss going on long waks and just, feeling relaxed and carefree. I put on an audiobook and just lost myself in the experience, and it’s been a long time since I could say as much. It matters, it matters more than just as exercise because it’s a form of freedom. It gets you space not only around you but inside your head, and I have been starved for that these past few months. Still feel shaky on some things, but on the whole, I feel stronger, less overwhelmed, and more optimistic. I hope this is a more permanent shift.

There is one thing that makes me feel a bit more sad though. Yesterday, Southend United were relegated from the Football League 2, and thus out of the professional leagues. I haven’t talked much about sport on here, but I’ve been following Southend since my dad first took me to see them on August 24th, 2002. Southend beat Oxford 1 – 0, a feat that sadly didn’t happen either times they played this season. It’s sad too because the idea that not all clubs survive that kind of relegation setback isn’t lost on me either, and I don’t want to lose that important part of my life. Trying to stay positive though. Focusing on the optimism best I can.