April 13th, 2021 – 930

Let’s get one thing out of the way: TWO isn’t done. It needs a few thousand more words. And you know what, I’m glad. I’m glad I learned enough about myself and what I care about, that I didn’t risk burnout trying to rush it to that arbitary deadline. It’s totally fine, and once it’s done it won’t matter what day I finished it. And, by being nice to myself, by resting, focusing on letting my birthday be good, I managed not only to have one of the best birthdays of my life – no I’m not kidding about that – but an actual normal birthday. For real, thanks to being in my mum’s bubble, and seeing dad and my grandparents within the rules and safely, I managed to have a birthday that minus the masks was like any other.

Today is one of those days that makes me so thankful I bullet journal. I captured every beat of it in the journal for the day, and I can relive it whenever I want. I can do that just as I have for last years, and this time, this time I got to record a normal day. Sorry I know I keep saying normal but, I can’t help it, it was, and I got to feel like things were ok. I know that there’s every chance things might be about to not be ok again, the unpredictability of the South Africa strain and all, but I feel like in this snapshot moment, my little slice of this world is finally peaceful. I am also, very, very tired after it, so I am gonna finish my 1K tasks now and then sleep for a good, long, time.

But you wanna know what was the icing on the top of today? It’s that I know, whatever happens from here on out, I am recovering this time. Call it hubris, and who knows maybe I’m wrong, but I think I might finally have reversed the trend, properly reversed it. Hard days will still come to pass, and life is full of them. But I think this year, this month, heck even just as I took in this day, I felt something inside me change. I don’t know if I understand what that change is just yet, but there’s a new me.

Oh one more thing, Palm Springs is now in my top 5 films of all time. Go watch it.