April 12th, 2021 – 929

One year ago today, Tim Brooke-Taylor died. That was, reading back over all my public and private notes on my wellbeing over time, the wellness data to hand and from messages I sent, the point I stopped coping in 2020. I think it’s no exaggeration to say I’m only now managing to get all my pieces back together. Of course, there were a lot of reasons my psyche fell apart, but I never took the time to grieve properly. It sounds odd, given I never knew him personally, only the version of him in his work and legacy, but it’s hard to explain who I am without Clue, because so much of who I am comes out of that show. My love of the absurd came from there, and it was my comfort blanket during the more messed up times in my past. So, I’m glad that today, I didn’t dwell on it. I felt sad, of course I did, but I managed to move past it, and make today a good day.

I did not however finish TWO. And, I don’t know if I’ll finish TWO tomorrow. I think it’s unlikely I will before midnight, and even after it’s 50/50 as I ended up discovering a chapter’s worth of the finale conflict and resolution I didn’t factor in. So TWO is at 91.4K and there’s still just under 4K to go. I just hope it doesn’t happen again. That deadline however, the 13th, was only ever an arbitary marker. It’s not like I have an audience, even if people have started pointing out my Imaginary Readers are starting to become a tad less imaginary. Jokes on you I will never turn on the comments, so imaginary you shall remain, mwahahaha. Ok I really need to sleep.

My birthday tomorrow is gonna be a fun, relaxed and sociable day. And you know what? I can live with not finishing TWO on it. It’ll have a lot going for it either way.