April 4th, 2021 – 921

God gnats are annoying. Pretty much harmless maybe but I am peeved that I’ve managed to get them in the flat. Working on rooting them out best I can but given my hope was to do a day of housecleaning tomorrow, I’m assiming I’ll need to tamp down my expectations for what’s possible. Is it ‘tamp’? I should know whar words mean if I’m being paid to put them in a sensical order for others amusement. Thank god I’m not paid to do that here, I’d have been fired years ago. All in all today has been a really nice day, got to go for a walk with dad and my step mum in the park, made birthday plans, obviously still a bit weird like last years but far closer to normal than that was. My sleep schedule has been, better, but honestly that and the gnats aside all is pretty good, except for how late I keep writing.

This is the last hurdle I feel between me and normalcy, but I cannot seem to clear it no matter what I try. I’ve been trying for over a month now, and it seems as if even when sleep, diet, exercise, mood and stress are in hand, my discipline to bank target early on a consistant basis is scant at best. Part of it I suspect is the nature of the book I’m writing; these is far from the most depressing scenes in the series but it’s still a heavy part. And well, there’s no point acting as if I’m not burned out because I just am. That’s going to take time to heal, and I’m not even expecting my annual leave from Friday to fix all that. I just have to take life a day at a time, and hope nothing else goes too wrong. I’m planning best I can for if it does. The rest is up to fate.