March 3rd, 2021 – 889

Yeah yesterday’s post was weird but come on, it was 888 day! I won’t get to celebrate that again for almost 22 years, you think I can wait that long? I only just managed to earn the “Go Outside” – ‘Don’t play The Stanley Parable for Five Years‘ – achievement and nearly broke several times. Also I earned that legit, so no Unachievable achievement in my collection thank you very much. Still need to earn the Tuesday one though, I don’t wanna just idle that one. Anyway if you don’t like weird posts just complain in the comments except HA, jokes on YOU, I don’t HAVE a comments section! Also you don’t exist, you’re imaginary, so by default you agree with all my woefully misguided opinions like TALES OF MONKEY ISLAND IS THE BEST GAME IN THE SERIES. Except no, legit, it actually is, and I say this as someone who adores the LucasArts classics and played them first.

Ok that was a tangent and a half and I haven’t even been drinking. Then again I have had like 3 coffees today, and, 3 yesterday actually. Eight in total this month, and real talk, that is a really good sign. I have always said you can tell the state of my mental health by the length of my facial hair, but I only tend to shave that all off once I feel I’ve emerged from a spiral. Well, it’s still there – I envy guys who can’t grow beards – but I have noticed another useful trend. If I drink more than one cup of coffee a day, that means most of the time I am functioning and stable, for a few reasons. First, I drink coffee pretty much exclusively at my desk, ergo the more I drink, the more time I spend at a proper PC, which I work better at. And, coffee helps me function. It blocks the tiredness receptors in the brain – DRASTIC OVERSIMPLIFICATION I KNOW – and that’s important for me, because I often feel tired, but find when I get going I have plenty of energy.

And yes, I know that has a common meaning. Look I’m not one of those people in denial about their depression, I know it’s there, I know it’s bad, but I don’t like to make a big deal of it. And, well I think that’s worked against me for way too long. I think I’ve talked on here before about needing to get therapy, but once lockdowns look like a thing of the past I need to seriously consider it. The worst case scenario is 2020/21’s legacy is it sets me back like five years in my development. Sounds dramatic but University did that, and this, well it’s not as bad as uni was but it’s close. And I’m not proud enough to pretend I don’t need help fixing some of the broken stuff right now.

Speaking of broken stuff, I backed up all my unedited novels today. Downloaded all of them as Word Docs, and put them on a USB. I’m going to burn them to a CD as well as an additional back up as soon as I can justify buying more blank CDs, as that is the easiest to preserve data format. I really wish that was floppy disks, I love those so much and they give me so much nostalgia, or casettes for that matter. Sadly both are prone to degrading pretty darn fast, where CDs insulation helps keep the data in tact for a while longer. I know that sounds weird when the whole reason I use Google Docs – well not the whole – is the autosave and cloud storage of Google Drive. But when you’ve dumped this many hours into projects – and lets be real here, it’s in the thousands at this point – then you develop a nervousness about losing it. Funny story, when I was first typing Unreachable in 2012, I stayed up all night in the library writing, and at 4am an auto-update reset the computer and I lost 15,000 words. Autosave, there is a reason I would give my life for you.

One other thing: you might have noticed a lot less orange here. I decided to strip out the WattPad links, though I intend to leave the books up there, given they’re pretty harmless to keep freely available. If I ever take off one day, that can kind of be the “try before you buy” some people stumble across. If I were going mainstream publication as my route then I would need to remove them of course. But, well that might not be an issue anymore. We will see, and time will tell.