February 18th, 2021 – 876

When I get to 5pm my brain stops being so helpful. Back in the days before the apocalypse in my first bullet journal, I designed what you might call my optimal day structure, entitled funnily enough, ‘Day Structure’. I’ll likely grab a picture some time if I haven’t already, but in essence, this was how my day broke up between work and leisure, and how to get boundaries between the two so I didn’t bring work or that mindset into my home, preserving the barrier I’d spent years cultivating. Are you sensing how BITTER AND FURIOUS I AM ABOUT THIS STILL TO THIS DAY? No? I must be being too subtle.

The point of me mentioning that old structure, is that I noted 9am until 12pm was the best time for big, thought intensive tasks, including if possible with what I had on that day taking my break to do 1K. 12pm until 3pm was akin to round two, still good for this, but I needed to refuel to be at my best. 3pm until 6pm was best for wrapping up smaller tasks, replying to emails, you get the idea. 6pm until 9pm was best suited to leisure and relaxing, and after that, the sooner I got to bed, the easier it was to preserve the model. Ideal, to a tee, until the boundary between home and work evaporated, tasks came up on Saturdays and were chased at 9am on Monday, and well, all of that with the background of the world falling apart. Needless to say, I did not see my ideal model last long, mostly because when your office/dinner table/leisure space/bed is, well all your bed because there isn’t much room, you crack.

We’re now several months and houses on from that – I wish the latter was a joke – and I am, better I guess, but still a mess. And if I don’t get target done by 5pm, my brain melts, because spoiler, that’s the one bit of the structure it held onto. So yeah, today was busy, target is late, and I am stressed. I miss order…