January 9th, 2021 – 836

So about yesterday, I was wrapping up the work week on what was, and I cannot stress this enough, the longest week of 2021. Ok granted it was the only week of 2021 but that week outdid a lot of 2020 by sheer virtue of rushing a house move in a matter of a week, around work, and after a quite exhausting stretch. To cap it off, TWO is pushing me quite a lot right now.

The reason for that latter point is I’ve never written anything quite like this. That’s kind of the point of the series, in that I’m testing what genres I like writing in as well as writing styles and themes, and it’s the core first person narration aspect that’s pushed me the most. I do not like writing in first person, for a lot of reasons. I enjoy reading it, but it goes against how I like to tell a story.

When you’re working in third person, breaking away, jumping and otherwise warping perspective are all super simple, you just kinda, do them. You can do all three in first person, but it requires a lot more signposting. The ‘I’m now over here doing X’ fix I’ve adopted on draft one feels hyper clunky and I do think it’ll need purging in the type up. But that’s just the perspective issues. The biggest problem I have is the voice.

The character I’m writing from the perspective of is one of my all time favourites. And yet, the use of hedging language, and the way a human mind leaps between thoughts, both make this style of narration more complex for me. I’ll be honest, this first draft is rough. But that’s ok, not only will I then polish it on the rewrite, but I also know now I will avoid first person. I’m glad I gave it an earnest chance, but it’s not for me, at least right now.

My sleep schedule is, bad. It’s collapsed to be blunt about it, and I still have things to do before I can sleep tonight. But with a little luck, I think I’m starting to regain control of this hyper intense chapter of my life. I hope that – while 2021 has started off, badly – I might have a shot at last for some stability. You know, until the next apocalypse hits. But that surely won’t be until March, right?