November 20th, 2020 – 786

It has not been the most, productive of writing weeks. Ok so yesterday I managed to bank 1,150, and I may stay up and bank over that today, but the average kinda doesn’t lie: 1,072. 1K is Enough, always will be, but a soft average – one that fluctuates a fair but but where the mean long term matches the average short term – should be 1,100. I’m actually considering graphing it because I’m pretty sure I can draw that graph with no raw numbers.

Lockdown 1 – lots of energy and my heightened adgitation made for karge-ish wordcounts. Later, The Wanderer pushed me to a project average of 1,300 a day, which is half way to NaNoWriMo speed.

Intermission – The Whispering Rail, and a story I didn’t realise would dredge up a lot of unpleasant memories of university. Health deteriorating along with no deal fixed plot before I began writing, project average of about 1,040.

Lockdown 2 – burned out from the constant changes, possible house moves and launching into a handwritten book for the first time in over a year. Average of as above, 1,072.

And the thing is, that’s why I’m optimistic. I feel wretched right now sure, but I’m gathering momentum again. I have to remind myself that I wrote WAN as fast as I did because I despise that book, no kidding I got as much done as fast as I could. 1K is a marathon not a sprint. I may sprint to the end of books, but a thousand words to maybe later edit and mold into something worth sharing is and always will be the goal.

It’s been a rough week. They’ve all been rough if I’m honest, but this one, a lot of late nights and email inbox fighting. But I made it, and I’ll keep making it until I’ve drawn this year to a close and begin the next. Is 2021 going to be better? No, not really. There’s so much to untangle and so little I can realistically do to deal with that in advance. But I do have a lighter note to finish on.

I recently celebrated 2Y1K, the second anniversary of this strange little experiment that became my whole life. And, after doing the maths and some careful guesstimation, it appears that I should finish the entirity of The Service to Ore series on or about the 27th of September, 2022 – otherwise known as 4Y1K. That’d be pretty neat, and a chance to begin to write while new stories and adventures. Not the end of 1K of course, but the end of an era, one that today I am over half way towards. That’s cool.

November 19th, 2020 – 785

I really need to start writing earlier in the day. It’s a pretty late day in all senses, not least working late, but I’m gonna try and cut that out long term rather than make extra hours the norm. I also need to cut out drinking pre-target, it makes focusing harder especially when I’m tired.

I keep diving into Graveyard Keeper in the evenings rather than writing first. That has to change. It’s not sustainable and I can always play a little later. I think realistically the fact my social life has made 10pm bedtime impractical is why everything has shifted so much, a change I’m less than thrilled about. I can at least say my prose seems to have weathered the fug.

November 19th. In-universe it’s a significant day, the start of something huge in fact. It’s always a strange day for me, given it’s links to both the real and fictional worlds. I just remain thankful I didn’t make like the multiverse and break today, not yet at least.

November 18th, 2020 – 784

Man counting words by hand takes a while. It’s satisfying, but it’s also a pain when it’s late at night and you just want to sleep. I knew I’d banked target – in the end 1,150 words so I smashed it in my view – but I only count it when I’ve, well, counted it. That’s a butchered sentence if ever I’ve written one, and I assure you dear imaginary reader I’ve written far more than one.

Tomorrow TWO will hit 10,000 words, a huge milestone and also where I like to seed my catalyst moment. That way on the rewrite I can trim from the beginning and naturally bring that moment to the 8-9k mark. So all in all I feel good, except, well I actually don’t quite know what the catalyst is going to be. I guess I’ll have to mull that tomorrow while finishing the painstaking task of emptying my email inbox.

Also, I’m about to edit the final chapter of TSS, and I think now I’ve reread it I can say it’s my favourite of my stories. I like all of them – excluding The Wanderer – but somehow that one just feels, on point, naturally more polished by virtue of the sheer number of rewrites. So to be honest, I might be rereading that for fun tomorrow. I mean, the main reason I write these is so I can read them. That’s kinda weird isn’t it?

November 17th, 2020 – 783

I need to stop medicating myself with air fried Mars bars. Yes they’re *technically* more healthy than their deep fried counterparts but they taste the same for a reason, and it’s not because they’re unclogging my arteries. But hey, I’m still in a weird place, what can you do. Probably why I have no intention of getting an early night. Writing might be done but I’m just, out of sorts. I don’t know.

November 16th, 2020 – 782

Good start to the week today. I’m starting to clear by backlog of emails across the last month, a lot of which just got buried by more incoming. If I can keep my head down I think fingers crossed I can clear the lot this week, tall order as that is. I’m keeping positive and starting to slowly find my rythmn working from home. And more, I’m even getting better at healthy food shops, which is a good sign of recovery.

I keep doing 1,000-only days, almost a week of them now. While yes I’m still shattered so that is partly why, I think writing by hand kinda forces this too, making it a lot more laborious to get into a state of ‘flow’. In a way this is handwriting’s advantage, forcing deliberation. I want to get this book absolutely right so that’s no bad thing. All the same, there’s no chance of a suprise finish before New Year’s at this rate. That’s fine, New Year’s Eve is both arbitary and my least favourite day of the year. Even so…

…oh and Graveyard Keeper is addictive. Why did I not get this game sooner…

November 15th, 2020 – 781

I’m not sure if it’s because there’s that unseen extra barrier for handwriting or I’m just burned out from life in general, but I keep leaving 1K until super late. That’s not healthy, it means I get less sleep, especially on work nights where I’m up at 8 regardless. It doesn’t seem to be affecting the prose itself for what that’s worth.

I’ve been playing a lot of Graveyard Keeper, and honestly it’s a load of fun. I think that played a part between that and doing work tasks – yes I end up working Sundays – in me leaving writing too late. Either way, I really want to try and correct the routine by writing on my lunch break. Here’s hoping I manage it.

November 14th, 2020 – 780

Sometimes I really don’t understand why I order pizza. I always feel bleugh afterwards and yet the idea of pizza in my head is always so good. I have no clue what’s going on there – it’s not a good intolerance, the crossover with cheesy pasta (no ill effects) is too high. But other than feeling a pinch blugh I’m ok, writing, and exhausted.

Writing by hand is lovely, and I have missed it, but there is a mental barrier that’s not often there for regular writing on a PC. It’s a lot easier to type on autopilot for sure, which isn’t a good thing if you want better work out of a first draft, but it sure gets one in the can easier. But for a story I have some ideas about but otherwise haven’t planned, a first draft I’m forced to rewrite is no bad thing.

I need sleep. Going to do my best to get a full night’s rest tonight, which I haven’t managed in a while. Assuming that pizza doesn’t keep me awake…

November 12th, 2020 – 778

I’ve cleared all my big work tasks. I’ve cleared all my home tasks. I’ve restored order to my life even if my bullet journal is still terrifyingly behind, but I’ve also managed to get the rest of the cogs turning well enough that this last hurdle should come soon, and I think I’ll clear it this time. I just need to keep my head on straight a little longer.

I’m so tired, but I’m also feeling good, actually good, as in first time in, maybe as many as 10 months good. Gonna sleep now, and hopefully when I wake, I’ll write early. Banking 1K of TWO today was nice. Doing it at 11am tomorrow, would be perfect.

November 11th, 2020 – 777

The flat is tidy, work is getting under control, and I got to introduce a character in TWO today I’ve waited for four years to be able to realise. All in all today was good, and tomorrow I’ll finally have a working oven again for the first time in years, so that’s even better. This year isn’t done yet, but I’ll cling to the positives if that’s what it takes to get through this.