I’m starting to slip again. I can feel it even as I manage to stabilise around the 11-Midnight range. This isn’t a great place to find myself mentally, and night after night of bad sleep is starting to cause some unsettling repercussions. It’s as if I’m walking a tightrope between stability and chaos, the wire all that keeps me from falling into an abyss worse than the chaos behind.
That all sounds pretty morbid, but I think I can put it in a less dramatic, more succinct way: I have choices to make and I don’t know what to do. I don’t like change and I’m only just recovering from the upheaval we’ve all been living through, one I took harder than most it seems. And I just want to not screw this up I guess.
Best I can do is keep working hard at work, on writing and on reconnecting with the people around me at a distance. I just hope the wire broadens to a more accommodating path soon.