August 10th, 2020 – 684

Ok, this is more like it. I got a full nights sleep at long last overnight, and woke up feeling as if I’ve finally recharged, which is good as today is my last day of holiday. I have my BuJo all up to date, I’ve got a financial plan for the next few months that should help me get a new PC, as my current one is, well clinging on but could do with an upgrade, and I’ve also got a savings plan for my help to buy ISA. All in all, I’m feeling on top of my stuff for the first real time since, I guess mid-February. Close to six months of turmoil that didn’t even start with coronavirus lockdown look to be winding into a more workable new model, and hopefully one that won’t shift into an even more disruptive path any time soon.

If only I could feel so serene about what I’m writing. I churned out 1,600 words today, and I think it’s reasonable enough to assume I’ll finish up with a wordcount around 86K, which means my soft-deadline of the 26th shouldn’t be an issue. It’ll be nice to move onto a story that doesn’t make me feel like a sociopath, though surely feeling like one is a paradox? I don’t know, I’m not willing to open that box. The prose needs a lot of work, and I have already come up with a fairly major plot change that I’ll need to amend in the rewrite, but that can sit in a drawer for a long, long, loooooooooooooong time. In the meantime the rewrites of TUS, VOL and WHT have to be my priority after this, with a view to submit three polished manuscripts to the Wattys.

Now those awards are so close, realism of how unlikely making the shortlist will be is setting in, but my actual goal should be to have those three print-ready versions of the books, not to win an arbitrary award. Yes, recognition would help me kick-start a career as an author, but I’m not starry eyed about that. If it happens great, and if it never does, I’m not surprised and I’ll still live a good life. I do however need to try a little harder to achieve said career, as ‘if you don’t try you can’t succeed’. This is one of those many areas in life where having an actual ego and needing recognition from others would kind of help, but hey I’d rather not be reliant on such things. I am however reliant on money, so I guess that’d be nice.

I’m going to chill out on Stardew Valley for the rest of this last day of holiday, and here’s hoping that I can manage the year-one Community Centre. No red cabbage on the travelling cart yet so it’s looking grim, and I keep forgetting to buy chickens, but hey, at least I’m having fun. That’s not something I’ve made a priority for a long time, and I need to change that.