July 18th, 2020 – 661

And just like that it’s over.

Well, Covid-19 is far from over, but the most intense part of it for me now is. I’m back at the flat, and for all intents and purposes, no longer in quarantine. I have a bubble of people, but now I’m home, life almost goes back to normal. The only real change is my home office is my work office now, and I will be seeing my friend I used to each weekend each fortnight so she has some space after busy weeks. I can 1,000% empathise with that.

I hit target at 9:55am today, which in itself is already quite huge. It’s a good thing too, because right now, I’m emotionally and physically exhausted. It’s been, tough, not because I didn’t enjoy staying with my grandparents – I really did – but because I do not cope well with change. Today is a positive, but an exhausting one. I’m shattered.

But I feel good. I feel, surprisingly good. No idea how long that’ll last, as I’m sure I’ll feel iscolated at some point, but I am back in full control now. If I don’t want to eat dinner, I don’t have to. If I don’t want to stay in my room, I have other private spaces. It’s small but it’s significant, and with luck that’ll be what keeps my head on straight.

I feel like there’s so much I want to say, so much I’m feeling that is hard to put into words. But most of all, I feel tired. So I’m going to rest for a bit, then do a burst of unpacking, and then crash a bit longer. One day at a time. One step at a time.