July 8th, 2020 – 651 – Day one-hundred-and-fourteen

Ordering pizza as it turns out can be healthy. Ok so it’s not healthy healthy but mental healthy, I think getting an 18″ chilli and pineapple – haters gonna hate – from Pizza 2 Night helped me find some calm in what’s been a rough old time for me. My work might be getting under control but my brain has been in freefall for almost a month, almost as if I decided it was a good idea to work on a project I literally despise in the middle of a pandemic that upended my life. Yes I’m moaning about The Wanderer again but hey, joys of imaginary readers: no one complains! Taking away the comments section was also a good move.

One thing I will say, I am turning out this book even faster than I expected. I did think disliking the story would perhaps encourage me to write more and faster, but I turned out 1,800 words at the end of a busy work day just now, and well, that don’t normally happen. I used to write a lot at night, but that was in the hazy 2-3am time-slot, where delirium waters down self critique. I hope that this is less about wanting to get through the book – or god forbid some level of affinity to it – and more me getting faster with practice. Really hoping on the latter bad thing.

So the Wattys open in a matter of days. Heady me of a year ago proclaimed I would ‘win the Wattys!’ this year. Closer to the time, I was getting less and less sure of that. It wasn’t just I was starting to be more realistic about how hard it is to stand out in a packed field, but also that I have drifted hard from the platform. You have to be willing to do a lot of self promotion, and while I can do that, I keep resisting it. It’s a flaw I need to get over; in my bio on this site largely unedited since February 2019, I said not shoving my work down people’s throats was one of my biggest flaws. Now, I’d argue it is my biggest.

This goes beyond issues of editing or publicity though. The Wattys announced they are only taking completed works. That is huge, because it gives me a gigantic leg up on the 2019’s. I have two completed works live and ready to submit with a bit of powdering up. My question now has to be, do I submit 2, or do I submit 5. I can with about an hours work have five finished novels live on WattPad. I could do that tonight; yes TSS and TFS need some work, but hey so do the other 3. If I’d known about this, I would have started The Whispering Rail and not The Wanderer, so that I could serialise the former as the new weekly content. The problem I face, is that I really, really don’t want to serialise The Wanderer. I’m either uploading the whole thing at once, or not at all.

I need to make a decision soon, but this could be a chance for a big break. I’m torn. And, if I do this, then I will need to have something to serialise weekly. Short stories maybe?

Guess we’ll see…