April 23rd, 2020 – 575 – Day thirty-eight

There is a slim chance that if I keep up my current pace, May could become a 40K month. I think I’ve mentioned this before, but the 40K month is a sort of soft-goal for 1K at the moment, requiring a level of efficiency that I do not feel confident forcing at the moment. 1K+ and Clockspinning are good examples of how easily pushing things too far, even for a day can upset my system. “1K is Enough” is sort of an unwritten rule for that very reason, but if I go over without much effort or thought then it’s fine. That’s how today I near-enough hit 1,500 words.

It still amuses me in a way how a 1,500 word day is now a pinnacle for me. In the same way I would have once looked at 1K as magical-Christmas land, I used to see 1,500 word days as meh. This was when I felt sure that if I was ‘able’ to write, I should be pushing for as much as possible. Now I recognise I had that skewered: I’m always able to write, but the more I push myself, the more I risk burnout. A simple goal each day means I make a lot of progress even at my worst.

Writing is helping keep me sane in lockdown, and chess continues to as well. In 8 days I’ll be ordering my own set and I cannot wait for that. I’ve always loved weighted objects, pens especially, and the marble pieces are going to be so satisfying to use. I’m also hoping – perhaps forlornly – that heavier pieces might encourage me to move slower and with more care. A lot of the mistakes I make at the moment are not me blundering into lost material, but failing to take time to look for the ‘better’ move. Kinda ironic in a way given my other main hobby calls for the opposite approach. An impatient push forward will churn out novels, but it’s also a surefire way to miss a clean checkmate.