April 17th, 2020 – 569 – Day thirty-two

So you know how I said I will hit 20,000 words today in my last post? Well, I will, but I need to not jinx myself like that. The words are coming, but it’s sludge not water, and that goes for the quality as well as the ebb and flow. It does not help that I seem to be burning out at the speed of bleugh. Ok, that time ‘bleugh’ didn’t make any sense. It was enough effort working through the Friday wrap-up, which did need to be my focus. At least on that front I have got close to my old work flow.

Even the coffee isn’t getting the creativity flowing. It likely doesn’t help that we watch TV every single day; I used to watch maybe an hour a week, but now it’s closer 11 hours. The days seem to be blending together in weird ways. We have ‘clappingday’ which was once known as Thursday, ‘vegetableday’ which began life as Wednesday, and the rest is one large splodge. I need to try and distinguish the days from one another, but that’s proving a lot more work than it sounds. I don’t exactly get much alone time. Kind of ironic for a lockdown but there you go.

I wrote the above when trying to psyche myself up to write. As it is, just over an hour and a half later, I’ve banked 1,400 words, though I feel they are ‘passable’. If bad is ‘ok’ the ‘passable’ is great news given how lethargic I was feeling, but they might be awful and I delusional with fatigue. In either case that’s enough for today. I will journal, and then sleep. Lord knows I need it, even if it appears not to help…