March 1st, 2020 – 522

So I’ve been grinding further and further down to the bone these last few days, and yesterday was my attempt to stem that. I hit target, but left blogging and journalling until later. For the rest of the day, I went to Creams ice cream parlor, bought some journal stickers and played Tomadachi Life with a friend. That was the kind of break I needed. I’m not recovered quite yet as my sleep fell out of sync. In fact today for the first time in a month I couldn’t get up at 8:14am. I slept right through it, and that shows how knackered I am. 

I have not written yet; I wanted to clear my mental inventory above first. I’ve had to accept that this is a much longer novel than I first imagined, and that this is no bad thing. I will of course edit it later, but in the short term, that means March 11th is not a practical deadline. In fact, I’m moving the deadline almost a month back, to April 9th. That’s tight, as I start uploading WHT a handful of days later. It’s also the only sensible option, as the last thing I need right now is more burnout. Working a 37 and a half hour day job and then adding at least 7 hours on top of that for writing is taxing. 

So I want to talk about that, because on paper that still sounds quite light. Plenty of people work 50 hour weeks and make them work, so why does a 44 hour week floor me? Well first, it doesn’t most of the time, but of late with added other stresses in my life, each of those hours has become a lot longer. Second, like any kind of endurance building, I am by definition pushing my limits. Those limits tend to be lower than most people, either because of fatigue from my joints issues or something else. Whatever the reason, I have to make this more sustainable. I like that I write 1K of story each day now, and I don’t want that to change. Eventually I want to expand that to 2K when it becomes my full time work. 

So what do I ease back on? That’s the big question, and I don’t have much of an answer for it. So I’m going to do some writing now and think about a way around this roadblock. There has to be one. I don’t want to keep repeating this bad comedy forever.