December 23rd, 2019 – 453

I’m a bit out of sorts at the moment. Call it being far too tired still, or downing a bunch of spirits and chillis and being a bit off my face because of it, but I am not feeling all together with it. I should go make myself a coffee after I finish writing this, that would help a lot I think. What will help even more is getting target done much earlier today and getting back into my good routine. I should wake at 8 and sleep at 10. I should write sooner, not later, and not at 2 in the morning. Simple.

You know by now it’s never that simple right? No one has it that simple you might think, but some of you out there will know darn well it can be simple. I’m one of them, plot twist, this one is simple. Do it a bunch of times until you do it on autopilot. You know, like every other habit ever? So why do I keep screwing it up? This paragraph is a mess of convoluted plot twists, but here’s another: I know the answer to this one too, I just don’t do anything about it.

Habits are great, except when they’re not. But all habits are fragile. I’m feeling parched, and when I feel stressed and parched, I will always reach for alcohol over anything else. That’s fine – I’m ok with being a stereotype – but it’s not all that helpful to use a depressant when trying to write cohesive prose. So I change the routine to be when I feel parched and stressed, I drink some squash. Job done, right? Nope, because if I get really stressed, I grab the gin. The old routine is still lurking in my head, and if I’m not careful, boom, back where I started.

So how do you work around fragile habits? Well, in a full circle, repetition is the answer. Keep doing the thing you want to have as the normal, and it becomes the normal. You may look at that, frown at your screen, then mutter something to the affect of “so to do the thing, just do the thing…” and well, I deserve that. It’s a bit more complex, but in essence, keep doing something, and the more you do it the less you think about it. Keep doing it when you have a certain craving, and you’ll do it on autopilot. I never said it wasn’t work, and there’s a reason I’m no expert at it yet. It takes time.

So writing TSS, that’s going pretty well even considering the above, and I should finish chapter 40 today. That’s 41 including the prologue, which has thrown my maths off a few times because it’s rare I include a prologue at all. As there is a significant time jump though I felt it was somewhat needed. It’s good prep though as WHT also has a prologue for much the same reason, with an even bigger jump for that matter. I’m pretty excited to start work on that to be honest, and wish I could have a burst of words someday over this holiday so I can hit the ground running on it before the end of the year.

Right, time to finish up and get to it. Story isn’t going to write itself, no matter what habits I give it. That, doesn’t even make sense.