December 18th, 2019 – 448

I messed up again. This time though it’s only some minor mistakes and nothing I can’t work around. I left a bunch of stuff at home I was pretty keen to have at work today, but with one exception I should be fine without them. I wanted to put some Deep Heat into my bag, so that when my legs cramp up as they’ve threatened to do for days now, I’m prepaired. My wrist and legs are a bit of a mess, but I should still be ok without medication for it, for now at least. I’m expecting by the weekend my body is going to shut down hard.

I also managed to leave my personal journal at home. You might think that sounds crazy for me, improbable even. Well my imaginary readers, here’s a twist. My foil in this case was forgetting that the book in my bag at present is not my personal journal anymore. That’s because yesterday at 6pm, I finished the final page of that journal. The five months it covers see me pushing through some of 1Ks biggest challenges yet. I know as with Journal 1# it is going to be an invaluable resource going forwards.

But the third thing I left at home is a problem: my coffee. I have enough for maybe two cups after I finish my current one, and four cups is about the baseline of my comfort zone. Which, you know that makes my whole ‘weekends’ lack focus’ meme make a, lot more, sense. For real? That’s the reason weekends keep falling off the wagon? Oh jeez it is isn’t it. When I used to go to the cafe on Saturdays I was much less sluggish. When I used my Dualit more at home I kept things tidier and got more done. 

Well, that’s why I write this little blog. All the same damn it, how has it taken me almost 450 days to figure this nonsense out? Why am I so bad? Oh TSS is going great by the way, another thousand in the bag, story feels at the right pace, in the home stretch. And I’m getting back on the WattPad wagon today too, can’t let that drought go on any longer. Here goes nothing.

…I can’t believe my problems keep coming down to ‘coffee helps, drink more of it’ and I keep ignoring the obvious. No, no I can believe that. I am dumb.