November 11th, 2019 – 411

There’s a common trope of “Monday blues”, of being back at your desk first thing with the weekend gone in a blur. Those who know me well the the only ones not suprised to hear I am quite the opposite. I dislike how rudderless I get on weekends. Then, when I sit at my desk on a Monday, I go through my Trello and before long, I am back in control. What I need to do is capture that urgency at home, but for one huge problem: fatigue.

I get tired a lot. This has been a problem for most of the last twelve or so years, starting in the time after I left college. Looking back in hindsight, I can spot a pattern: when I had less life structure, my fatigue got worse. When you do a bit of reading into contempory psychology and medical research, that is no suprise. Focus is key. Staring at a screen is not the greatest thing for mental faculties, but having a strong day structure? If you have that, almost nothing else matters.

So what do I do to transfer that to the weekend? Well, long time imaginary readers will know this is a long way from the first time I’ve asked that. The best I can do is rehash the old approach and try to tweak it. That does not sound like a fantastic way to go about it, but in my current state that’s all I can do. If I push my weekends to be workfests too hard when I’m already going to lose a lot of time to the election, I’ll get ill. Of course, that takes me going to help with the election. I need to do that this weekend, I don’t care if I’m well enough or not.

If I can nail weekends, I can start transforming my life for at least a day a week into what I want it to be going forwards. I get up, go for a 20 minute walk at half 8. I get to a desk, at home, or wherever. I start to work, on my writing, and do an 8 hour work day. I write, but I also plan, and do social media engagement. That is my goal. If I can ever afford the desk at CoHub that’d be where I’d go. I work six days a week, and if I make £200 a month as a writer, that becomes four days a week at the college, two at my writers desk. That’s still pipe dream right now, but it’s not impossible. 

I spoke to a friend this weekend about where I draw my motivation from. It sounds silly, but a big part of it is living in my imagination, on what would happen if a book took off, or got an adaptation. It’s a bit childish, but it also gives me a pinch of that validation many writers crave, and few are lucky enough to find. Even when it’s a little dream, like that paycheck changing my hobby into a job, that’s what gets me up in the morning. Now, I need to figure out how to do that at the weekend. One step at a time.