August 6th, 2019 – 314

One of those days with hidden significance for me in the past I’ve now tried to move on from. It’s just unfortunate that the here-and-now doesn’t offer me much more comfort, as yesterday far from 5K, I wrote 1.2K. That’s fine, it’s not a big deal and I shouldn’t force VOL to completion. In a way, if I did it would negate the whole point of handwriting version one.

Even so, I do not have long now until it is due, and while yes it’s October I plan to begin serialising it, and the first 5-6 chapters are formatted and ready to go, I want time to get one extra gap away from it before I upload, so I can be happy the story is right. There are bits of the mathematics I want to make less overt and possible other parts that might be better more so.

I’m feeling pretty shakey at the moment, my health on the ropes despite my best efforts, and I need to take my foot off the acceleration a bit. In the past, I did that no problem, but now a combination of needing the routine and fear of going back to those wilderness years keeps me from taking those breaks, even for just a day. Funny thing is 1K absolutely allows me to take a break to do leisurely writing instead.

I wrote in my journal last night I’d sleep on the decision of how to proceed. But I slept so badly I feel none the wiser. I guess all I can do is try to muddle through today and attack the problem again tomorrow. But damn, I really could have used some time off. As much as I hate to admit it, the day out on Friday was a huge error of judgement on my part. I need to rest up somehow…