July 22nd, 2019

Yesterday I messed up. I wrote a 5-word blog post and never bothered to hit publish. The disclaimer I wrote when I published it late – earlier this morning – was longer than the darn post. But none of that matters to be honest, as given the state of my mental health the last few days, for that to be the one mistake I made is nothing short of a miracle.

I made a pretty stupid mistake before my mini-breakdown happened. There’s a book – well no, there’s more than one, but this one is the worst offender – that I am not supposed to look at. I know this, yet sometimes I forget how important it is to not touch the wretched thing. I assume that I’m being silly and if I read it this time I’ll be fine.

And every time I do, I am a wreck within minutes. In the past, touching this book has been enough to throw off my mental health for as much as weeks at a time. This time, however, I had 1K on my side. It threw me out of whack, but I didn’t drop a day of 1K, and only failed to write WHT on the day itself. By having a neutral goal to focus on, I was able to rebuild at a time where in the past, I would have been too busy falling apart.

So yesterday, the strangest part of this whole weekend was I forgot to hit post on my blog, because I was busy working on my stories and busy with family and friends. Given in the past, breakdowns have seen me isolate myself and stop doing anything, it blows my mind that the one mistake I made was for the opposite reasons.

I now have 14,600 words of WHT left to write for the first draft. It’s surreal to reach this point with any novel of any length, where I know I could finish the whole thing in a day if I chose to. I have no intention to do something that jarring, but with 23 days till my deadline, I feel pretty great about where I am.

I am still not being active enough on WattPad. I am doing bits and pieces and thanking new followers when they pop up which is something I didn’t keep up with very well when I started out. I have one series on my to-read list, but it’s 10 books long so that will keep me busy. But I need to tackle those forums, as much as I really do not want to.

One day I’ll stop moaning about ^ that and do it. Probably not today.