June 25th, 2019

I am so sick of not getting my weekends. My writing is not invasive, but it gets shunted aside for others needs. So this weekend I am doing the bare minimum. I am furious at the situation, but it is what it is. It makes me sick to my stomach that I had six days of holiday left, and I had to use one to buy back sleep because people stole my free time. I need to stand up to that better.

I am stressed, and I need to cool off. I resent that I have to leave 5 days of holiday for a damn election that might not happen – and hopefully won’t happen either, as I do not need that kind of extra stress right now. I will be trying to claw more me-time. I keep having to delete my words because the rage keeps seeping into my words. I haven’t been this angry in a long time.

I did manage to write WHT yesterday, so there’s that one plus right now. I think I should be able to do the same today, but I need to go over the plan again as I managed to get more out of the last chapter than I thought I would. That’s a good thing, but it does also mean I need to re-evaluate the plan again to ensure I keep the story tight.

I don’t like rambling fantasy. I like clean on point writing where the story beats fall at the exact moments they need to, and as much is implied as possible to keep the action coming. I think I’ve managed to come a long way with doing that whilst still reaching the length of a novel, but it’s important I keep an eye on my beats to not go over.

So here’s the thing, I am about to go into July as of the end of this week. Assuming I don’t cave before then – and I doubt I would – that means I have a week’s holiday for two weeks. I think given that, I should book off the days between the 29th of July and the 2nd of August.

My logic is that if the election gets called within this holiday block, it will be called before then anyway. If the election ends up at the end of August I can’t do anything anyway, so I have to accept a seat on the sidelines. That would be much nicer for me, but as you can imagine I hope that does not happen. I don’t need that on my conscience.