June 24th, 2019

When I agreed to do the tournament I knew this would happen. Without fail, if I do something like that which involves pressure, stress, that I’m not into and that makes me anxious, I burn out instantly afterwards.

Elections. Big events. Anything where I have to be around a ton of people and get little to no choice for how long that isn’t work pretty much. I do this to myself and it doesn’t help when on my rest day, the day I booked to sleep through,I get five hours sleep…

I think it’s because I was angry. I mean I’m always angry, but I was resentful of losing yet another weekend. That’s why I have to put my foot down next weekend: it’s for me, I’m being antisocial and not doing anything I do not have to besides resting up.

It’s half 9 and I haven’t written a single word. I wrote a short story last night to hit target and it’s such a sleep deprived unbridled mess that no I will not be sharing it. I’m gonna get a drink, stick on a good book and try and relax as I do my writing now. I hate leeches.